You say I never call you. I have records that prove otherwise, because I got tired of being accused of 'never calling'; I have calendar entries of every single call I've made to you in the last 4 years or so, with the length of the call also recorded. According to my records, I talk to you once at week (at least), and most calls last for more than an hour. We get to play the Weekly Monologue Game where you talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and I get to listen and not get a word in. You have no idea what's going on in my life because you never pause long enough for me to tell you, and you never ask. You're so wrapped up in yourself that I could lose my job, my car or my arm, and you'd never know, because you won't shut up long enough for me to tell you anything.
But, okay. Fine. We'll go with your version. I NEVER, EVER CALL YOU.
So, when you DEMAND that I call you on a specific day, at a specific time, THAT is when I'm going to call. If you tell me to call you Sunday at 3pm, I will call on Sunday at 3pm.
So, WHY do you go out and not answer the phone???
If you told me to call on Sunday at 3pm, WHY would you leave the house to go to the mall, casino, the movies, or wherever the fuck else it is you run off to? You KNOW I'm calling Sunday at 3pm, so WHY would you fuck off at 2pm to go to the mall??
Of course, you don't email or text me to tell me you're leaving. You just go out, and let me sit there for THREE FUCKING HOURS, dialing your number, trying to reach you. And, do you leave your cell on so I can text you to see if you're home, or call you on that? Do you check your voicemail?
No. You just become unreachable, and you waste hours of my time, and you STILL bitch at me, telling me I NEVER, EVER CALL.
You do this EVERY FUCKING TIME.
So, if you tell me to call you on Sunday at 3, and you leave the house at 2pm and can't be bothered to tell me (and don't return home for hours), don't bitch at me because I NEVER, EVER CALL.
TL;DR: Fuck you, mom.
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